God calms me when I feel stressed or fearful! I was really stressed the first time our son went in for major surgery. And because our little guy was stressed too! There were some who kept trying to keep me busy, have me eat something or talk, but I really just wanted to just have some quiet time with God. When I finally was able to get away for a bit, before I even started to pray, God gave me a very sweet mental image that I hope that I can soon embroider. (I created a very small version of this on a pendant necklace.)
I saw a field of little white flowers with two little butterflies playing in the grasses. I could feel His message in my heart: Don’t worry. Soon your little guy will be playing with you in the flowers and all will be well. I thanked God for that vision and held onto it tightly throughout the rough days that followed.
A few days later, Chase’s epidural accidentally came out earlier than expected and the assigned nurse wasn’t following the pain relief protocol as was outlined by the surgeon. Chase was tossing and turning, crying out in pain between passing out. I could barely keep it together seeing him like that. Once when he passed out, I remember falling to my knees crying out to God. The image came back and I held on tightly to it with the full confidence that “this too shall pass.” I began to pray that Chase would not hold onto the trauma of that night and that he wouldn’t be fearful of hospitals moving forward. (When he was 1 to 3ish he was terrified of hospitals because of the amount of time we had to spend in them.)
When Chase had to go back in to get his stints removed, I remember that he had no fear and I was in awe of his strength. The third time he had to go into surgery he was now making jokes. When we had gone to the bathroom to empty his bladder before “getting rolled in”, he asked me where they would cut into him this time. They had drawn a little heart facing up towards him and I told him that was where they would make the incision. He just burst out in a funny voice saying, “Ohhhhh, they’re breaking my heart!” And he just laughed and laughed. I busted out laughing too. He was cracking me up!
Then when he was laying on the surgical table ready for anesthesia, the doc asked him, ”Are you ready?” With his arms crossed behind his knees and his legs crossed just chilling like he was in a recliner watching football or something, he just simply nodded his head and replied, “Yup!” My husband and I kissed him goodbye once he was under and walked out the door. The docs and nurses were complimentary saying that was not the norm and Todd and looked at each other saying, “Can you believe that?” We were in awe of God’s tangible peace covering him and us.
That day in the waiting room I thanked God for showing up once again. For the rest of our time while he was in surgery I visited with other children and families without a care in world. My focus shifted and knowing this would likely be our last time in Children’s Hospital, I wanted to bless as many as I could before we left.
And this is just one example of God’s tangible peace experienced by our whole family. Would love to hear your stories!